Robyn Jones, Tony Sambell and Stephen Gammack were my guests this week to talk about toxic masculinity. What was clear by the end of this show is this is a conversation that goes beyond gender and is about the small things we brush over, the small elements of abuse we ignore till they become normalised and accept till we have an 'extreme' case which ends up being front page news. All too often it them becomes a 'gender' issue with two sides drawn and no true way forward. There has to be a better and more loving way to be with each other.
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I feel very honoured to have been able to facilitate this show. 

Where does abuse come from? Is it always someone else's problem or are there parts of our own lives that could be contributing to the global picture because we are taking a level of normal that is not normal at all and yet we are not calling it out for fear of standing out?

This episode is a bit of soul searching and asks us all to consider the impact of what we did and what we do.

Check this out - the latest show with Jean Gamble talking about relationship breakdowns. It is full of examples to bring understanding of how to deal with the hurts we feel when we are not understood and practical ways to ensure we do not carry those hurts from one relationship to another.

Key points to remember - 
No-one wins when we go into naming, shaming and blaming
Decency must be the bedrock for the way we behave in every interaction.

There are four parts to this episode and each gives an insight into the man we see on our screens and hear through our radios. Rob Carlton is an Logie Award winning actor, a writer, a story teller but in our interview, her is simply a man and a father who talks about the importance of sensitivity in men and decency and respect in sport.

​We have such a long way to go in this respect in life, men still feel they will not get work if they share how they are feeling yet the pressure of not sharing how they are feeling can sometimes have irreversible results. 

Do we have a picture of what intimacy is or isn't? Do we measure how intimate we are with different people depending on their relationship with us? "Of course!" I may hear you say but I would like you to suspend that indignation for an hour and listen to us unpack the possibility that we may have more to learn and understand about intimacy and it is so much more that sexual intimacy.  

I was joined in the studio today by Peter Matthews School Captain and Lachlan Walker, Social Justice Prefect from White Ribbon School - Knox Grammar, and Tadhg Richards and Hunter Meaney School Captains from Turramurra High School. I really appreciated how they turned the statistics into practical and meaningful opportunities for young people to be the change they want to see in their world. I will let their words speak for themselves.

Peter - You can talk about it as much as you like but you have to act. If you are not comfortable with the conversation going on around you stand up to and raise the standard.
Lachlan - Don't wait for another to stand up, be the one person, be the change and others will follow
Tadhg - Use your gifts and talents to speak up - paint, write, sing, all forms will make a difference and your expression is needed.
Hunter - have that conversation, don't go into hushed tones, that way people will feel a level of accountability for what they are doing behind closed doors.

If you need support please contact:
1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732)
Lifeline 13 11 14
Police and Ambulance 000

Further support services below

There is a clear knowing for Jeff Garland that it is possible to go back to work after post traumatic stress leave because he did it. He now knows there are some safeguards that need to be in place and some logical support from superiors that could alleviate much of the trauma experienced by police officers and frontline workers.

Ray Karam worked as a police officer in Sydney Central, Redfern and in country towns in Northern NSW. An accumulation of traumatic experiences led to Ray leaving the police force to seek support and rebuild his life. Ray shares his inspiring story, what helped him to rebuild from the grass roots up in order to support others who may have experienced similar trauma.

Simon Gillard talks to Lucy Dahill about Post Traumatic Stress that saw him end a 15 year service with the police. When Simon describes the work he did, the lack of de-brief support and the culture of shame around asking for help, it is no wonder the deeply caring man was unable to continue in his high pressure job. Simon has written a book on his experience called Life Sentence. 

This weeks' show looks below the surface of dads taking leave around the time of their babies birth and in the early years. What transpires through the interviews is the notion that parental leave may be a step in the right direction for more gender equality in the workplace and in society. My interviewees are Johan Bavman and Emma Walsh. Johan works as a photographer and his exhibition 'Swedish Dads' is a series of pictures depicting fathers on parental leave. Emma Walsh, the CEO of Parents At Work has been curating many discussions and presentations furthering the discussion on how we can get more fathers taking parental leave and how companies and organisations can support new fathers by lessening the stigma around the topic. Let's be honest, have we invited men into the "who cares for our children" conversation? If not, and we consider the bonds that are built in the first 3 years of a child's life, then it is clear we need loving reflections from both parents and we need to support that to happen by lessening the stigma around taking time off from work to look after children and not consider it as an indication of a low value for their career. There is no 'one size fits all' solution but it takes a village to raise a child and the workplace is part and parcel of that village so let's get to work and support more parents to be engaged equally at home and at work.